This article is written primarily for the man out there that wants to get rid of ‘that junk….’
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| smoking white |
The other day I was driving home and for once! For once! there was no traffic – at all. Ok, so it was mid afternoon, but still, the road ahead of me was clear of traffic and I could drive faster than the normal absolutely frustrating crawl of 40 klicks per hour, the sun was shining in a brilliant blue sky that can only be seen in Dar and the music off my ‘stick’ was booming out of my speakers…. I was having a total LG moment - Life was good. If I had been driving in Nai I’d have stuck my elbow out of the window, I was feeling that chillaxed, but you don’t do that in Dar unless you want to boil and fry your arm into a nice crispy black-bacon – so my arm was inside, the window was up and the A.C. was on full cold blast…. Oh, wait a minute, there was a car infront of me. Waaaaaaay out there. A truck. As I got closer, I realized that it was an old Canter pick-up, and kama-kawa, the thing was removing exhaust fumes to fog up my brilliant day. Ugghh!! Have you ever been behind one of those things? Slow and smoky and smelly…. and to make matters worse, the smell of the smoke was somehow filtering in through my gorgeous a.c… aaaarrrrrhhhhh!!! Quick quick, the solution was either fall back and drive at a mindlessly slow crawl, or overtake. So I tapped the accelerator with my foot and edged closer to the smelly thing in order to begin overtaking when I got the shock of my life. In less than a split second the thing emitted a cloud of white smoke so dense, it covered the entire road ahead of me to the left and more importantly, to the right. I couldn’t see the canter, I couldn’t see through the smoke at the road ahead of me, I couldn’t see through the smoke full-stop. And here I was, driving faster than a crawl. I hit my brakes. SCReeaacchh!! Too late, I couldn’t even see behind me and now my car was covered in this dense white stuff, but what scared me more was my proximity to the canter. If that thing was going to blow, how close was I to it? I could see the headlines already – WOMAN KILLED IN CANTER BLOW UP. Acha tu! I shifted into reverse and hit the hazard button almost simultaneously and literary flew out of that smoke - backwards. The bubble behind me (a vitz) not only reversed, but did a 360˚and headed back the way it had come…. So that left me alone on this road with a smoking canter in front of me….
A few seconds later, I was a clear 20 mts away and looking at this dense vast fog of white smoke getting bigger and bigger, when suddenly through the smoke out ran 3 very panicked men, straight towards me. I reversed further away. 30mts. Silence now. My hazards were still on. I thought a bit then backed up a further 20 mts. The three men held a small panicked meeting to the left of my ‘movie screen windscreen’ ahead of me, chattering and waving their arms while behind them the canter (totally obscured by smoke) continued spewing tons of smelly white smoke into the air. One of the men shouted into a mobile phone. I reversed again and moved to the left road shoulder. If someone behind me wanted to overtake and go into that thing… let them!, so I gave them space. As if reading my thoughts a taxi came shooting out from behind where the traffic had began to build up, but when he got closer to the dense blanket smoke he suddenly swerved to the right, right up onto the right hand shoulder and stopped there… Higher and higher the dense cloud climbed. No one moved. Dead silent. Cars built up behind me. No one hooted. The taxi reversed until he was level with me but separated by a double lane of tar. I almost laughed in his face but I was too busy watching this bank of smoke climb even higher!!! Why had no-one switched off the bloody engine?? Aarrrrggghhhh!! Chug chug chug chug…. Out spewed more smelly smoke…higher and higher…
I couldn’t even sigh! (as in deep breath in) coz I didn’t want that stuff in my lungs… but, what? It was such a brilliant day! Beautiful! So what cut?
A lot of minutes later when enough traffic had built up behind me, the denseness began to fade and the smoke began to thin. Not quite clear, but clear enough for the cars on the other side to begin coming through on the right. Whoosh, whoosh, whoosh, whoosh… road ahead clear on the right. As if in a bad dream, the canter was revealed in slow motion, the curtains of smoke parting slowly. As I drove past the canter I looked to see the same three men studying the engine and shaking their heads. I laughed out loud and drove off, opening my windows to let in hot but clean smoke free fresh air!! I even got me some arm bacon – and stuck my elbow out the window…
I related this incident to Drew, my hubby, a couple of days later and asked him, what exactly cut with the van? And after grinning his head off at my female idiocy, he explained. “That was a diesel van, and the driver put petrol in the tank instead of… diesel!” Oh. My. Gosh! Wonder what the owner must have said?! A totaled engine…. Caused by a wrong judgment or carelessness. But I can’t really say I blame the driver. How often have you pulled up to a petrol station and you cannot assume that the pump attendant will make the right choice for you? Whenever I have to add fuel to the El Grande Van I tell the attendants twice, ‘DIESEL’ and still there have been occasions when the attendant automatically reaches for the petrol pump. Humf! So, who do you blame? Dude, if you bought a car for your wifey that used diesel wouldn’t you make all the necessary precautions to make sure that DIESEL goes into the tank. Little itsy bitsy reminders on the dashboard written DIESEL, and maybe one on the tank access door written DIESEL and maybe yet another on the fuel tank cap written DIESEL?? Then if one day the car ground to a halt after emitting serious white fumes – you’d have an excuse to rant and rave and scream and ask her, ‘CAN’T YOU REEEAAAD??’
Why then, do men do the same to their marriages?
Adding ‘petrol’ to their ‘diesel’ marriage? Or diesel to their petrol marriages? Adding a fuel that will harm the marriage engine. A fuel that will result in their marriage billowing out tons of noxious white fumes before stalling to a complete and utter halt? Making those around them stop and watch in silence when the marriage begins to go wrong? Causing those around them to fear approaching the marriage incase of a serious blow-out? Running out of the marriage in panic, waving your hands in the air and making phone calls to counselors and pastors and God-knows-who for help – although by this time it’s a bit too late? Throwing blame on the ‘petrol attendant’ when you, the driver, should have been more careful to watch and see what type of fuel was going into your engine?
Why do men sabotage their marriages willingly? I ask this because there is a new breed of men that are subscribing to a very sad culture here in East Africa – mind you - they are gorgeous men, educated too – not dumb at all – whether older (and wiser) or younger, what is more worrying is that these gorgeous-looking intelligent influencers-of-society who by the way also pledge to the Christian faith have developed the culture of having ‘gachungwas’ or ‘nyumba ndogo’ or ‘second wives’. And to make matters worse, their fellow-men are not telling them the dangers of this culture but instead sit around discussing the various ‘wonderful’ attributes of the new-girl-on-the-block!
A typical case study
The young totally gorgeous single jamaa with an education – this is NOT you (coz you’re in denial) – this is your brother, cousin or uncle…
Before you ruin your car by adding the wrong type of fuel, educate yourself! Acquire a measure of WISDOM.
Proverbs 2:16-19
New International Version (NIV)
16 Wisdom will save you also from the adulterous woman, from the wayward woman with her seductive words,
17 who has left the partner of her youth and ignored the covenant she made before God.
18Surely her house leads down to death and her paths to the spirits of the dead.
19 None who go to her return or attain the paths of life.
Who counsels our young jamaas today? Who gives them advice? Why is the older generation letting their sons, brothers, cousins and neighbors fail before they have began to truly live life? Make some NOISEEEEEE!! Get a VUVUZELA and BLOW THAT THING!!! Because honestly, who is their example? Fathers, brothers - why are these men silent? For when a young man gets himself a ‘changudoa’ or ‘langaa’ or ‘poko’ or even a ‘sugar-mama’ - he has began to walk on a wild and wicked path straight to the pits of hell….
Proverbs 4:14-17
New International Version (NIV)
14 Do not set foot on the path of the wicked or walk in the way of evildoers.
15 Avoid it, do not travel on it; turn from it and go on your way.
16 For they cannot rest until they do evil; they are robbed of sleep till they make someone stumble.
17 They eat the bread of wickedness
and drink the wine of violence.
So this gorgeous young man begins his life already on a wicked path. At some point in his life, he wishes to get married…
Genesis 2:24
New International Version (NIV)
24 That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.
Wait.
Hang on a bit….
….. this YGM (young gorgeous man) has already become one flesh with several other women! In and out of different … (houses)…. Or maybe just one other. But, the question here is, who is his spirit united with,
the wife
… or the other sexual partners?
…that came before the wife?
Hmm. We are told that there is, in the spirit world, a sexual spirit. I’ve seen it and so have you – in the form of Players with a captital P, and nymphomaniacs….. ipo!!! So in this case, if this YGM has already had union with different women, when he goes into his wife, he carries with him all those previous spiritual relationships….
…..and passes them onto his wife.
Oh dear. Bad start. Wrong path… Let me totally frank here. That illustration up there? The smoking canter van on a tarmac road on a clear day? That’s your marriage. Because us women have this thing called a sixth sense that activates whenever she feels her man is engaged in sexual behavior with another woman. The thing triggers itself onto a hot ON!! She senses the ‘extra’ spirit in your life. Or the extra ‘spiritS’. We’re made to be more emotional, and for women, sex is a LOVE thing, not just a ‘do-it-to-get-rid-of-the-itch’ thing… so, your wife starts behaving irrationally and emotionally above and beyond the normal irrational and emotional behavior…
…. Your marriage begins to take out smoke….
You might not be aware of it, but those driving behind you do…
SMOKING WHITE out of your exhaust.
It’s Okay to check if you’re on the right website…. And no, I am not bonkers. There is an evil spirit world right here among us:
12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Ephesians 6 (New International Version)
So! Our YGM husband has already began to put the wrong fuel into his marriage. He’s already put petrol in a diesel engine….
And the engine begins to shut down…
Matthew 19
New King James Version (NKJV)
4 And He answered and said to them, “Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning ‘made them male and female,’ 5 and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? 6 So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.”
Let not man separate…..
Whatever you do, don’t break that bond that God has blessed.
10 His disciples said to Him, “If such is the case of the man with his wife, it is better not to marry.”
Matthew 19
New King James Version (NKJV)
Stay single if you’re a player. It is better not to marry if you are going to separate what God has joined together. But no! We don’t have any wise men on our streets and the YGM goes ahead and gets married, being offered no advice from his peers and his elders or any from you. Already the marriage is on very shaky ground. I say this because he of course, will unwittingly ‘compare’ the sexual prowess of his wife to his previous companions.
Why can’t my wife kiss me like_________? No, her kisses are not better than the other gal who could do a.b.c.d.e……
Why doesn’t my wife respond to me like the other gal who ____________
Why is my wife so ___________ compared to __________??
Why doesn’t my wife hug me like ____________ used to!!
Used to, she used to, I am used to, a constant repetitive reminder of what you were used to which is basically your mind Comparing notes.
Do you know it lowers your wife to the level of a pleasure delivery machine?
Petrol in a diesel engine. Or diesel in a petrol engine.
One day, in total frustration to his thoughts and the fact that he thinks he’s not getting what he ‘needs’ from home, YGM will eventually concede to the terrible tug of temptation and let himself be seduced and enticed back to his former habits. Jump that wall to feed on the grass that is greener on the other side. BTW, have you ever thought that the reason why the grass is greener on the other side is because there’s probably more (shit) manure in that compound? (and someone commented when I was giving this article as a Talk subject, that there’s probably more water in that compound too!! Lollest!!)
So, men – you go looking for the honey that you think you’re not getting at home. How Satan plays with our minds… anyway, ha ha ha ha!! God knew you would go looking for de sweet-sweet honey. There’s a Kiswahili axiom: ‘Tafuta asali, chunga nyuki’.
So God wrote a letter to you:
Warning Against Adultery
1 My son, pay attention to my wisdom,
turn your ear to my words of insight,
2 that you may maintain discretion
and your lips may preserve knowledge.
3 For the lips of the adulterous woman drip honey,
and her speech is smoother than oil;
4 but in the end she is bitter as gall,
sharp as a double-edged sword.
5 Her feet go down to death;
her steps lead straight to the grave.
6 She gives no thought to the way of life;
her paths wander aimlessly, but she does not know it.
Proverbs 5:1-6
New International Version (NIV)
LYING WORDS
In today’s culture, what is a ‘ka-supu’ – ‘gachungwa’ – ‘changudoa’ - ‘langaa’ - ‘poko’ or a ‘sugar-mama’? The weird thing is when you check out the meaning of most of these words, they are in direct contradiction to what they describe themselves as - concerning marriage.
A Ka-supu – small and super.
Gachungwa – Sweet Orange?
Changu– A Sweet fish?
Changudoa? A fishy stain?
Sugar Mama – ok……. ALL THESE THINGS ARE SWEET!! Aiyee!!
It’s not funny. BTW, langaa and poko are the exception because these names are called – ‘it as it is’ and doa is a STAIN on your marriage. But knowing all this - why go there? However frustrated you may be. Unless you really do want to kill your marriage and get rid of that junk, in which case, yes, go ahead! You’re on the Right Path to getting rid of that junk of your wife and marriage!! When I was in uni back-in the 80’s - adulteresses and prostitutes were called T9’s – a term taken from the medical definition of a Rabid Dog…. If a rabid dogs bites you, what happens? You get rabies and die a painful death… LOL!
Are you Tired already?? I am.
Tired of watching marriages that should ultimately be ‘made in Heaven’ break down and burn out. Tired of watching men and women trying to hold together a thing that is already rotting and smoking vicious fumes and good only for hell. Tired of watching friends kill themselves and their wives with disease. Tired of orphans being brought up by tired grandmothers. Tired of watching children growing up to a legacy of wickedness, sin, trials, tribulations and wretched despair that has been so carelessly banded out by ignorant, careless, foolish, fathers and hurting, errant, wayward mothers, marriages where the wronged spouse gains a spirit of confusion, of bewilderment, of bafflement and perplexity. These spirits are harmful, they are clearly not of God and often lead to further sin…
… remember that verse up there? When the YGM refuses to turn from evil, he takes not only himself, but the woman who is his wife, who is BOUND spiritually with him, down the same evil path…
18 Surely her (changundoa’s ) house leads down to death and her paths to the spirits of the dead.
19 None who go to her return or attain the paths of life.
What example do you want to leave for your sons and ultimately, your daughters? Because if we’re not careful, the wives and daughters of this generation will turn into whores and pimps because of our crime. It is written that the sin of the FATHER goes into the third and fourth generation. So, if a generation is … let’s say…. 60 years, then for 240 YEARS you have a CURSED GENERATION. Is this the way to pay back your time on EARTH?? A cursed East Africa?
For a man, sex is a physical act and plays no part in the heart…. Yah, yah, we know….. But, women die internally when the man, the sweetheart, the lover boy that they married - turns to another. They wither inside and rot. Adultery pierces a woman’s heart and shatters her soul. What is left is a ghost, a shadow, an evil thing – a headless-woman. Are you mad with your wife? You want to hurt her and demean her? Simple. Go sleep with her sister, or cousin, or best friend, or daughter or whoever, just make sure she gets to know… the sooner the better.
Nowadays if you want to eat chicken for dinner, you simply go buy a take-away from from Interchick or Kenchick. If you want an uncooked one, you buy a broiler from the same or from the Super-Market. Tee he he, back in the day, if you wanted kuku for your meal - you had to get a live squawking chicken and then cut or wring it’s head. Now, if you cut a chickens’ head off and then let the body go (totally gross, but which as kids we used to do and then laugh ourselves silly….) .. the chicken would run around for a couple of minutes, flapping it wings and totally headless. Hence the term ‘running around like a headless chicken’. No noise, no squawking, just mindless running around with a bleeding neck….
Upende, usipende, the man is THE HEAD of the woman and when he commits adultery or spiritually cuts his head off, his wife becomes -
…. headless.
23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Ephesians 5:23 New International Version (NIV)
Let me ask my brothers a question. If your friend tells you today that he is going to commit suicide, what would you do? Give him rope? Give him a gun? Give him poison?
Why do that? Just give him a second wife…..
Or a changudoa, or a gachuugwa, or find him a Ka-supu…
Same thing.
Again, If your friend tells you today that he is going to commit suicide, what would you do? Then why laugh and admire his girlfriend, or when he points out a girl while you’re in a club, or at a wedding or at a business function or seminar, agree with him that the ‘gal is fly!’ and drop both of them at her house, then cover up with the wife, be the alibi and if ever questioned by the wife later say, ‘your hubby was with me.’ ? ? ?
FIXING THE PROBLEM
So, what are YGM’s supposed to do?
Easy. Spot a girl and marry her. Have as much sex as you want. Make love every night all night long. Bring the house down. Who cares?? She’s your wife – wata do??
But, I’m already married?? And unfortunately THE WRONG FUEL IS ALREADY IN MY MARRIAGE, NOW WHAT? - COZ I VALUE THIS JUNK!
All mechanics will tell you that the minute you realize you have the wrong fuel in your new smart ka-vitz that you still have a loan on, or maybe it’s a gorgeous HSE, or maybe your car is a canter van that’s around 15 years old – whichever, to save the vehicle, you should STOP IMMEDIATELY AND SWITCH OFF THE ENGINE. Then you drain the tank. Plus clean up your engine, removing all traces of foreign fuel….
Works in God’s Kingdom as well. Only that in His Kingdom the mechs are Jesus and The Holy Spirit, working their way into your life and cleansing you thoroughly with the WORD. Such is the Power of God, such is the LOVE of GOD.
So give that cousin, your brother, your son, your friend some really good advice.
STOP. HALT. SWITCH YOUR ENGINE OFF. Don’t add any words, random actions or any advice especially ‘words of advice’ from that ‘honey’ woman… uh uh… remember, the lips of the adulterous woman drip honey, and her speech is smoother than oil; but in the end she is bitter as gall, sharp as a double-edged sword.
Do you know what gall is? It’s the stuff in the gall bladder, and the content of the gallbladder is - Bile; a bitter greenish-brown alkaline fluid that aids digestion and is secreted by the liver - and that there is straight out of my dictionary. Basically any words of advice from that ‘honey’ of a numba ndogo or second-wife are actually huge drops of poison – words to cause anger, irritability, bitterness and a smelly stench in your marriage.
So. Stop.
Then, get washed with the Water of the Word…
1 Peter 3:7 (NIV) 7 Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.
In the same way… meaning, (1) Therefore, rid yourselves of all malice and all deceit, hypocrisy, envy, and slander of every kind. Like newborn babies, crave pure spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow up in your salvation, now that you have tasted that the Lord is good. and (2) …… I urge you, (as foreigners and exiles), to abstain from sinful desires, which wage war against your soul. Live such good lives among the pagans that, though they accuse you of doing wrong, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day he visits us….. because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in his steps…..
…. “He committed no sin, and no deceit was found in his mouth.”
When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats….
Taken from 1 Peter 2 : 1 – 3, 11 – 12, 22 and 23.
…. So that nothing will hinder your prayers. Dude! Do you know that some of a mans actions result in God NOT HEARING your prayers? Having an adulterous relationship will hinder men’s prayers. Not women’s. Men. So, call it what you will, second wife or mistress, sweet fish or orange, poko or langaa - as a believer in Christ, this is one of those things you do that will hinder your prayers concerning the welfare of your children, your business, your career, your family, your joy, your prosperity, your future and all soul matters.
Don’t scream and shout and rant and rave at me. God knew you before you were born!
He sent you a letter:
7 Now then, my sons, listen to me; do not turn aside from what I say.
8 Keep to a path far from her,
do not go near the door of her house,
9 lest you lose your honor to others and your dignity to one who is cruel,
10 lest strangers feast on your wealth and your toil enrich the house of another.
11 At the end of your life you will groan, when your flesh and body are spent.
12 You will say, “How I hated discipline!
How my heart spurned correction!
13 I would not obey my teachers or turn my ear to my instructors.
14 And I was soon in serious trouble (in the assembly of God’s people.)”
What is a cistern? It is a reservoir, a tank of clean water built within your home. In the verse below, God likens the word ‘cistern’ to ‘wife’, springs to a mans seed, fountain to his …. Yah!
15 Drink water from your own cistern, running water from your own well.
Quench your sexual thirst with your own wife...
16 Should your springs overflow in the streets, your streams of water in the public squares?
Should your ‘stuff’ overflow in the streets? Really? Ok, I know it’s a bit crude, but …. Help me here someone!!
17 Let them be yours alone, never to be shared with strangers.
18 May your fountain be blessed,
ie. may your ‘manhood’ always stand erect and not need Viagra….
and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.
19 A loving doe, a graceful deer - may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be intoxicated with her love.
20 Why, my son, be intoxicated with another man’s wife? Why embrace the bosom of a wayward woman? 21 For your ways are in full view of the LORD, and he examines all your paths.
22 The evil deeds of the wicked ensnare them; the cords of their sins hold them fast.
23 For lack of discipline they will die, led astray by their own great folly.
IN CONCLUSION
A woman went to a pet shop & immediately spotted a large, beautiful parrot.. There was a sign on the cage that said 500Ksh.
"Why so little," she asked the pet store owner.
The owner looked at her and said, "Look, I should tell you first that this bird used to live in a House of Prostitution and sometimes it says some pretty vulgar stuff."
The woman thought about this, but decided she had to have the bird any way. She took it home and hung the bird's cage up in her sitting room and waited for it to say something.
The bird looked around the room, then at her, and said,
"New house, new madam."
The woman was a bit shocked at the implication, but then thought "that's really not so bad. At least it’s not swearing."
When her 2 teenage daughters returned from school the bird saw the pair and said,
"New house, new madam, new girls."
The girls and the woman were a bit offended because the girls were 16 and 18 years old, but then began to laugh about the situation considering how and where the parrot had been raised.
Moments later, the woman's husband Kariuki came home early from work.
The bird looked at him and said,
"Hi, Kariuki!"
© NYAKIO MUNYINYI 2011
