If you were asked to describe yourself in a single word, what would it be? If you were murdered (!)… how would those closest to you describe you to the CSI investigators? Be honest.. I tried to describe myself in one word and failed that test with (-) minus 20% because I am so very schizophrenic - I have like 6 or 7 different personalities… and the weird thing is, they all reflect ‘me’ perfectly. To choose one personality and focus on it would be lying, and yet society so often puts us in a box and expects us to conform and confirm to THE ONE. It’s ridiculous. It irritates me and so! - from today I am ‘walking out of the box’ (not closet!) So what if I have multiple personalities?? Utado? I am simply a very colourful character….Lollest.
So, back to the question, who – who-who - ARE you? And why is it so important anyway that you should know who you are? Let me answer that for you. It’s important for us to know who we are because you can then focus better on your purpose, you can draw on your talents, skills, capabilities and reserves to drive you further towards achieving your goals.
Let’s look at the CSI programme again. If you are murdered – you’re given a name – JD – ‘Joe’ or ‘Jane’ Doe. (In Kenya its ND for Njeri Doe or KD for Kamau Doe). By tracking your DNA, taking photographs and finding out where you lived, who your friends and enemies were, what your habits you had, where you worked… the CSI team puts clues together to determine who-who-who-are-you, which eventually leads (on TV) to who killed you…
Let’s look at the CSI programme again. If you are murdered – you’re given a name – JD – ‘Joe’ or ‘Jane’ Doe. (In Kenya its ND for Njeri Doe or KD for Kamau Doe). By tracking your DNA, taking photographs and finding out where you lived, who your friends and enemies were, what your habits you had, where you worked… the CSI team puts clues together to determine who-who-who-are-you, which eventually leads (on TV) to who killed you…
But right now you’re not dead, thankfully, and you’re not on TV, so why find out who you are? Let’s go off on another tangent… what type of car would you buy (you HAVE the finances) to drive across the Sahara? Your girlfriend’s Vitz? A Bajaji or Tuk tuk? A mr bean Mini? Unless you’re on a crazy TV programme like Top Gear I would counsel you against choosing any of the above… you simply won’t make it across the Sahara and if you did try, you’d be so busy cursing your spouse, your children, your friends, your family, your bank and the car dealer who sold you the car…. and oh! screaming (whether verbally or mentally) at God too…. Why oh why oh whyyyy on God’s good earth did you land ME here in the middle of the desert - Lord? WHY??? Now how on EARTH am I going to get OUT of here….??
He he he he he…. Sound familiar? We usually find ourselves stranded smack bang! in the middle of the Deserts of Life without a drop of saving water near us, thousands of miles away from the nearest petrol station, with no spare tyres… and Gaddaffi starting a civil war at the border closest to you…. So you can’t get out of your Vitz and trek that way anyway…). So you’re stuck in a Desert, the de’Bil (devil) is chucking bombs at the place where you might – might! - find help, plus the heat has began to affect you so you kind of look like plus start behaving like Johnny Depp in Pirates of the Caribbean … lollest!
But isn’t that what you do when the Heat of Life gets to you?? Running around in circles - waving bottles of wine or some other form of adrenalin - including muttering to yourself and to the little people that live in your head??? It may be a financial desert, or a relationship desert, or a physical desert where for some reason your health has failed you. Maybe you haven’t crossed the Sahara yet but you’ve seen friends going through tremendous struggles and they are absolutely STUCK and unable to go either forwards, sideways or backwards….
I often sing this song by Hillsong:
Jesus, Lover of my soul,
Jesus, I will never let you go
You've taken me from the miry clay
You've set my feet upon the Rock, and now i know
I love you, I need you,
Though my world may fall, I'll never let you go
My Saviour, my closest friend,
I will worship you until the very end
 |
| .... sometimes we just don't get it until it's too late |
FYI - Miry clay is EXTREMELY sticky wet stuff….
PRESS <<<<<
(REWIND BUTTON)
Why are you stranded in that Desert in the first place? Often, sorry to say, but it is because you and I made a poor choice of vehicle. Simple. You and I both - made a stupid, silly, brainless choice. Ok, let me make it more impersonal - I, Nyakio wanted to save money or skipped out on my research or I was intimidated despite my better judgment into buying the Bajaji/Tuk Tuk or Vitz… (let’s stick to the Bajaji/Tuk Tuk). Who cares? Nobody. When I fail, people laugh - or let me be brutally honest - when I failed people DID laugh; pointing out the numerous 'sins' in my life and the life of those closest to me....... So – in life when you want to go North and cross the Sahara deserts of life and get to the Mediterranean Sea - and mind you - our Lord gives us the ability to do so - you have to KNOW yourself -your LIMITATIONS AND ABILITIES.
Get it??
If you’re a Vitz personality, I’d strongly advice you to skip going straight ACROSS the Sahara – I would drive from City to City and pahleese I would take that Vitz to a Garage and get it souped up and overhauled for a TOTAL SAFARI! Throw in new shock absorbers, chuck in an extra gas tank, weka extra strong sump guards, bucket seats, AC, bigger air cooling system – infact, ‘turborize’ the engine… ok ok ok… I think you get the drift…
What if your personality is more like a Ferrarri? Then you know that you’re a super speedy character and you cannot, cannot drive in congested cities and sit in traffic jams - so DON’T try and force yourself into a tedious office job that’s going at a snails pace just because your dad did and your brother did and your aunty did and your cousin does and your spouse does… Do you know that if you saw your neighbour using his Ferrarri daily in that traffic jam you’d laugh silly? Daily. Yaani what’s the dude trying to prove? His car is miles more superior than mine, but, he’s stuck with keeping pace with-the-jam and us lot - plus the amount of fuel that he’s burning in that traffic jam - everyday?!? NKT!! What a waste of gas… I can hear you whisper…. plus he can’t take the shortcuts!! ha ha, his car is too low to drive off-road!
You cannot achieve your true purpose in life and reach your destinations if you have a false perception about yourself. You cannot be true to those around you if you’re not true to yourself. You cannot have a true relationship with God if you don’t have a true relationship with yourself.
"With Christ I can do all things!" - you quote to me and I say– yes, but why should you stress your soul with your inability to make proper choices? And double yes, you do stress your spirit and soul, so, if God has given us the ability to buy a 4WD to cross the Sahara Desert, why do we choose Tuk Tuks then moan and groan to Him later because of our poor preferences? That’s just wrong dude!
Like I said up there, I am schizophrenic and loving it - I am loving myself. Following the commandment that was given to us by Jesus to Love your neighbours as you love…. Yourself.
37 Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’[a] 38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’[b] 40 All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”
2 -second pause here...
=
=
Are we meant to LOVE ourselves?
ABSOLUTELY!
Ponder the following questions.
Q. How do you take care of someone you hate? Answer: With mathaa…
(total dis-respect)
Q. How do you dress some body that you dislike and look down upon?
Answer: Badly-awfully-poorly and defectively. Mostly cast-offs.
Q. How do you talk to someone you detest?
Answer: With scorn. Or you just avoid them
Q. How do you feed someone you care-less for?
Answer: With junk. Junk-food.
Q. How would you live and sleep with your enemy?
Answer: Are you mad? I’ll have total insomnia! Can’t sleep!
Q. What future plans do you sit and make with someone who wants to kill you?
Answer:______________________________________________
If you hate/dislike yourself, you will treat yourself likewise. If you hate/dislike yourself, please snap out of it. Begin by simply repeating every other minute “God Loves me for me and I Love myself” –
John 3:16
For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.
I did. Internalize and speak Love messages to my Inner Selves. (It sank in about 8 months later…) but,
It’s imperative to know yourself and thus come into an UNDERSTANDING of who you are - (all six or seven personalities), your capabilities and weaknesses, asking God for help in areas of need and altogether just LOVING yourself. Loving yourself means understanding what motivates you and what destroys you. Understanding and loving yourself means that you’re patient with yourself, more tender with your soul and spirit. Understanding yourself means knowing when your spirit is thirsty, and when your soul needs soothing. Loving and understanding yourself means taking care of your innermost self – that core of you that only you and God recognize and know. Loving and caring about yourself means weeding your mental garden and throwing out nasty trends and habits that are smothering and suffocating the life out of your soul….
Love yourself.
Can you cross the Sahara Desert today if called to do so? No?
I would – because I know myselves – I’d jump up and say Yes! And also cry to the Lord and ask Him to ‘soup-me-up’ in His Garage because I know my defects. Either that or I go West first before circling round to the North… I would go from city to town to village to city from Dar to Nairobi to Nakuru to Molo to Mumias to Kampala to …to to ... who has a map?? You see, when we’re challenged by life, we need to stop! and analyze ourselves, have a meeting with God and discuss major and minor issues, strategize. Ask questions: ‘Lord – you know that if you’re asking me to go across that Desert of Life to get to the Med. Ocean.. I will need a.b.c.d.e….’ and if we listen, I repeat - IF we listen! because often you and I know we don’t… The Lord will reply and tell us what to do next – when the Lord sends you on a mission He will equip you – all you need is a willing heart and availability. Disobedience lands us stuck smack bang in the middle of a Gaddafi type Civil war. You know, thank goodness that our Lord treats us like the US of A treats its citizens – sending in paratroopers to rescue us out of any situation in the middle of foreign-territory-Civil-War-in-the-middle-of-nowhere – all you need to do is send in your GPRS (Pray the Hillsong song up there) and whoa!
........ DADADADADADADADADADADA….
.............. helicopters and 6ft tall macho men with bulging muscles wearing combat gear and blackened faces handling the latest rifles – (the XM25's) coming to rescue helpless-you stuck in the middle of nowhere – isn’t God amazing? Because that’s exactly what he does – God sends in His Angels – rescuing us from nasty situations that we have hurled ourselves into. But when you watch those type of movies, don’t you get sooooo MAD with that skinny nerd who took off anyway in that Tuk/tuk Bajaji? Or else you end up laughing yourself silly as you watch Mr Bean driving through the Sahara in his mini….Get to know yourself. Don’t be the comedian actor in the movie of life who everyone laughs at because of their idiotic mistakes.
Do the whole CSI job, gather evidence, do DNA testing on your character, analyze your strengths and weaknesses, investigate your likes and dislikes, examine your skills and talents – Probe into your soul and spirit, scrutinize the minutest details of your life – because as I love to say ‘ you can sit on a mountain and enjoy the Sunshine but you sho’ ain’t gonna sit on a Pin!’
Get to know yourself. For your sake, for your families sake, for God’s sake!
NYAKIO MUNYINYI © March 2011
